Bipolar, Grief and Lockdown 2020 (A cocktail of emotions)

 You can make a wonderful cocktail with various spirits and the glass is stylish too? I love a challenge but 2020 was a bit too much. My partner passed away on April 7th 2020.

we celebrated 25 years together, sadly the last two weeks we could not see each other because of the restrictions Covid-19 and his end of life home. Some friends suggested I write a short blog to maybe help and inform others?

Bipolar is a difficult illness at the best of times and my medications help, but not for grief you still cry and that has to be healthy, and quite normal, Feeling numb is quite the norm believe me. Anger is another emotion that comes with grief. You will never be slim on medication another sad fact! weight gain is part of the treatment with medications. so you can be slim and ill? or fat and happy? no contest I will take the weight gain anyday.

Sleeping tablets are a god send when you loose someone, because you need to rest your body, mind and spirit really you do.

12 months is the hardest part an anniversary of a passing causes great  turmoil to your very core, you think how can I go on? but you do, most people think of their loved one daily. My dad died in 1992 and my mom in 2001 not a day goes by when they are not in my thoughts,

The pandemic was a real devil too I have lost a few friends to Covid-19. I hope we can reset to what is important and what is not, I have read many books on mental health, and have learned a lot along the way, friends who had experienced mental health issues in lockdown sought my advice,

After 48 years of illness I learned one or two things along the way a bad day is just that tomorrow will and could be better?

Friends were  so kind they really are angels but you sort the genuine ones from the false ones. Cruise is another great organisation and so is Bipolar UK,

Counselling for grief is a must even if you cannot get it on the NHS, Go private costs around £40 per hourly sessions,  much as friends help, they have their own problems and they can help you in a small way,

Medication wise my meds were increased due to grief walking and talking helps but trapped in grief in a lockdown has been a tough one for everyone.

I hate Covid -19 as it stopped me seeing my loved one and that is something the mere name makes the fires of hell in me burn with rage..

Peace and happiness

Christopher Rogers, 2021.