How to deal with a narcissist.

The Narcissist,

Has little or any persona they reflect whom they are with if you like music say organ they like it too. The main thing to remember they are child like characters at heart.

My partner was a narc, so I became my own investigator as felt something was off? I noticed if we were holding hands as soon as 11:pm came they would snatch away no emotion to get ready for home. I never meet their friends, he would tell he was out with an old friend.

I was not invited in case I suspect they would tell me something the narc did not want known to me, they lead 2 or 3 different lives not wanting these lives to meet like planets in the sky.

But when I finished with narc I knew he would go to this sheltered housing complex, so I went along, he nearly died when he saw me? He was like a gremlin red nervous and I loved every minute. I found out he had this lady on a piece of string for 13 years, why she never suspected I  don't know. He is gay and i called him out that night in front of them all. And informed them I was never asked to meet them.

Narcs should be called out he was arrogant and thought he was oh so clever! then he met me. My mom was a narc and I learned from a young age how to deal with my mother.

I also used all modern tracking devices  to check on him and his adventures, it was early in the relationship, all appeared ok he did not lie he just did not tell you the full story. Below me being sneaky and why not we live in a very strange and evil world.

Speaking to friends they did the same thing as I early in their relationship to protect yourself, these people can be dangerous, I had a Psychologist as a friend who gave me tips and what to look for each day little traps were set nothing much came out.

 He now wants to be friends, the investigations will continue I have lots more to find out why? it is like a book and you want the end story I do Narcs have no love no respect no morals your an object to keep like a vase or a car, so you will never get that love you give back! I had my Narc car tracked and also read his fone while he was asleep. I know some think that is extreme, but I knew what I was dealing with.

1. Trauma Bonding they attach you to them by false love

2 Sneaky days without a explanation

3 Future promising of holidays etc etc never happening.

4 Triangulation when they set you up against ex partners

What I suggest is always meet his ex if he is still talking to them. speak to people who knew them as man and wife.

I found my narcs lies from his ex 18 months later, I knew he did not want me to meet her.

Narcs never invite you to their home, they come to you so no ones knows.

Always mirror their actions if he mentions his ex start mentioning yours, and invent a romantic person who loves you and would be in a relationship if you were not with the narc.

If his family know he/she is a narc they enable the action so do not expect any support there, they are glad they do not have to deal with it.

Narcs have addictions drugs, booze or porn. 

Always make up a life that they have no part of do not introduce the narc to your friends, as they won't let you meet theirs.

Remember they are evil, cruel and dangerous to your health. I have many friends that helped and supported me through this awful time.

Also the next person they meet will go through the same treatment your lucky it is not you. My narc was arrogant and was never caught out till he entered my life. Venture over!

All the best

Chris Rogers 2025

Clarice Cliff: The potteries female designers and why we must cel...

Clarice Cliff: The potteries female designers and why we must cel...:   Above Clarice Cliff in the 60's History has been kind to Clarice Cliff and Susie Cooper, although there are many others Charlotte Rhea...

The potteries female designers and why we must celebrate their heritage.

 

Above Clarice Cliff in the 60's

History has been kind to Clarice Cliff and Susie Cooper, although there are many others Charlotte Rhead, and a few others.

The Clarice Cliff story is well known by now but the Film The Colour Room was a marketing film finishing in 1930, where was the other 42 years she lived?

A play is going round focusing on Clarice and her private life, rumour of her being gay do hold water, therefore, this could be in the play? I know at least 2 plays are in the pipe line.

The Council in Stoke are hoping for a statue of Clarice, how this will bring her lovely work to the public?  Is the $64,000 question, statues are cold and impersonal, therefore what it can achieve is?

 Below is an unknown pattern from Bigarre 1928.

.

This year has seen many potteries go to the dogs, History is not enough to keep these wonderful places open, The Ikea generation having no time for ornaments and such like? Even the Chinese are having little sales on ceramics, I would have thought the history of British designers would be the paramount  subject leading to tourism and interest in hand on education in the world of ceramics.

I feel tourism does bode well for the future, sadly nothing has been seen, I suggested a Clarice Cliff room, someone painting her work would be a great draw? Everyone hears her name but know little of her work and the methods used all those years ago.

The financial world of Clarice has had a bit of a reverse financially but money does remain the main driver of Clarice Cliff's work. I would have thought reproduction of rare pieces under license be the continued interest in owing a piece? I feel this is the way forward,

Susie Cooper again has been rather forgotten? perhaps an exhibition of her work is long overdue? timeless designs that stand as a beacon of high quality work.

Charlotte Rhead died in 1948, her work is in a Moorcroft style again rather forgotten? Stoke needs to step up and do various things to enhance the skills of these icons. I have been in touch with the leader of Stoke Council, The lady has an open mind and has been helpful with suggestions which I shall follow up. The Department of Culture and Media have been contacted, nothing helpful as to date.

Keep going and hopefully we can see some developments? not by paid PR people, but everyday people who Clarice designed for all those years ago.

Above Crocus which was in production from 1928-1968 By special order.

Chris Rogers designer/historian 2025.

Clarice Cliff (1899-1972) Blue Plaque

 It is always nice to see Clarice given some honour but a bit lacking in design I would have thought something nicer like the late Terry Abbots did for her former terraced home.

I think the opportunity to showcase her work would be a grand idea for Stoke? and tourism in that neck of the woods. On her 100th Centenary Wedgwood had people painting her work, and why not? Since she is such an icon for many Emma Bridgewater being one influenced by powerful women.

These days people want an experience not a statue or plaque and as much as Will Farmer is an expert the floor is yours, In fact dealers are the main outlet for her wares these days, a nice band or club but it is pure finance, and why not? seems to leave out the many genuine collectors. Her work appeals to a wide selection of people around the world so jump to it Stoke.

The film The Colour Room was just a story and not the whole picture Clarice lived another 42 years after the story ended surely someone will make a film of her life? not just her work?

I dare say I will get some negative comments as we are not allowed to have thoughts and ideas of our own? wrong indeed.

I will update this blog if and when needed so watch this space to find out more... A few images to give the piece a Bigarre look lol lol...

Lesley White 2024.

A bromance with a straight guy? If you gay?

 The very thought of a close relationship no sex would have been dismissed a decade or more ago... But now not so much so.

I am alone now after my partner of 25 years passed in the pandemic, and thought this is the last chapter of my life? not so by all accounts, have met some lovely guys as friends.

The secret is not to fall that can be difficult but not impossible? so there you have it or not as the case maybe.

Companionship can be a wonderful things in your mid 60's, Not all gay people are loose or slags, sorry to those that are but we are all different, and should be viewed as such. I have many women friends that have settled for a nice sensible guy so you never know?

When someone gives you butterflies in your stomach at 66 it's the same as being 16 believe me, but in a sensible way love is not wasted on the young these days. The changing of your life age and other things can be a challenge.

But live for the day and enjoy the fun if your heart misses a beat or two know your still human..

Chris Rogers 2023.

How to deal with a ghoster with a wicked sense of humour

 We all know what ghosting means? a person who was a friend just drops you right? I make sure the ghoster never gets the chance to forget me.

I appear where they are every day that way it makes them feel insecure, evil I know but fun even so.

Never say anything just smile it kills me the look on their faces, sheer? I always say do the opposite to gain that satisfaction and it is for sure. How long do you do this? a few months or years?

Don't stalk but don't walk away it could be they think your unstable? who cares crazy is scary right?

You have to have a bit of a sick sense of humour so go for it lol lol lol... whoo whoo

Chris Rogers 2023.

Antidepressants/mood stabilizers/withdrawal and more?

 In the news at the current time are Antidepressants, getting on them and coming off them is most important.

The type of ssri is important too some have a short life 24-48 hours then you get withdrawal if you stop, where prozac has several days life, so it is best to taper or cut down as it is known to everyday people.

You can change your ssri to a long lasting one when you want to taper off. See  GP or Psychiatrist for tapering and med changes. I have recently had to come off sertraline when I tried to cut the 25mg I suffered bad withdrawal. I understand a 20mg liquid is available, and a Prozac liquid cutting by 3mg a week is the best or even a fortnight. Why does this matter? having bipolar 2 makes all meds matter and no way should you ever take ssri's without a mood stabilizers otherwise you could go high and manic.

Mood stabilizers are Lamotrigine and Lithium always start all meds at low doses why? I was on Quetiapine 300mg for a year almost asleep 247 so I only needed 25mg my system was sensitive to meds.

 Be kind to yourself because withdrawal is murder and can be brutal too if it takes you 6 months no worries. These pills are given quite freely without a thought on how to get off them. Insist on a tapering schedule. It can include liquid sertraline and a syringe 2.5g per fortnight or month if it helps to stop withdrawal. You can ask for fluxatine prozac 10mg easier to taper and in liquid form too take advice never do it on your own...

Zopiclone is another difficult to quit cut slowly 3.5mg is the lowest dose but you can cut into 3 quarters for weeks then half for weeks then jump off all together, Again take GP/Consultant advice, I was addicted for 3 years and managed to quit.

The side effects whilst on them were; as below 1 to 11.

 Lamical/Lamotragine 25mg to 300mg.

1. Tiredness 2 IBS 3. depression 4.anxiety 5 Suicidal thoughts 6. memory issues 7.hot sweats 8.confushion 9.mood changes 10.desperation 11.sadness.

The above can happen with Ssri's too. Sertraline is one of the worst also known as Zoloft in America,

Try not to read the horror stories online, it can be difficult but help is available people like Mind nationwide have lots of tips too. I am only speaking with over 40 years of mental health issues I am not a Doctor so please use your own thoughts and always consult medically trained people...

Good luck be kind to yourself it matters.

Chris Rogers 2023.